I’m so tired


I started this blog in the summer. I even created a summer category- for my summer blogs. Oh how the mighty fall. All of those previous posts- the ones henceforth referred to as “the glory days”- are my before posts. And now with 2 days under my belt- these posts are the after. Let’s just get this out of the way- and I have already been told by several year-round workers that this will get me NO sympathy…but I’m gonna whine anyway!! My feet hurt, my eyes are barely open, my girls are fed by fast food (wait- take that one off…we did that in the summer too…), I am going to bed before midnight, my alarm clock hurls me from my peaceful slumber at the early hour of 6:….30… I would like to say I’ve thought more in the past 2 days than I have all summer…but, I did take 3 online summer classes. I’ve got a headache- the mysteriously started after signing-in (is it my allergies to non-summer activities? or did the school spray something in the halls to get rid of bugs, dust, germs, bad kids – you can hope!). I haven’t had time to surf the web or check up much on facebook! I just want to go to bed- but it feels like a crime to go to bed so early!!!! And… I’m…. Done with the complaints! For now. I mean- would it hurt to give me a little sympathy? Even with the pains of the early hours- I do have a lot of things that I am thankful for and blessed with. I would go into them- but 1) I’m too tired, 2) some of them are too personal- or might offend someone ( haha don’t you just wish I would let you know what they are….curious eh?), 3) I’ve already wasted too much energy on my complaints and now have no brain power left to form a complete thought. I am very blessed, I am very thankful, and I do not want to take the positives for granted and let the negatives determine my days. ohhhh that sounded good for a half-asleep person. Or maybe I just think it sounds good- and will wake tomorrow and think “oh dear God- I hope I didn’t post that stupid rambling of my inner thoughts!” A word that has been popping up in my mind a lot is “perception” and you know how sometimes when you are thinking about something, how you are more sensitive or aware of that topic when others bring it up? Well- that’s where I am at. And now- I want you to join me there 🙂 One big perceptive family. I base so much on my assumption, or perceptions of what I think is going on. And really- if I was right in most of my perceptions- then there are a lot of people who put a lot of thought into personally attempting making my life miserable. But- logically- I know that can’t be true…because more than anything else…as humans- we are selfish. 100% self-centered beings. Now- even as Christians- we stay in the mind set even though one of our challenges/commands is to love others. Think of others. Care about ALL people. Ouch- I don’t like doing that. Wait- you …do…like all people? You mean, I’m the only one who perceives that someones motivation was to be spiteful and not just purely selfish on their part?? hmmm- well, perhaps I have some growing up to do. Perhaps a lot. Perceptions aside- I need to work on loving all people. Even the ones that I really would just prefer to slap. I am reminded of something Mikaila told me a couple of years ago when the children’s sunday school was raising money for the child slaves in Africa. She said that she only want the money to go to the pretty slaves, not the ugly slaves. I do that with my christian love. I only want to love the good people (from my perception of good) and not the bad people (from my perception of bad). Well- all I can say is I am so glad that God doesn’t hold me to the same standard I hold others. Because by a very legit standard (oh I don’t know…born into sin, and the other loooong list of sins committed after birth until oh about 5 min. ago) I am one of the “bad” people. Ok- I am tired (hence the title of this post) and I have kind of rambled on a bit, so I am going to go to bed and enjoy the comforts of my bed until that cursed (pronounced curse-ed) alarm clock goes off!


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